To Persevere

The word persevere implies one's act to continue in a course of action in spite of difficulty or with little or no indication of success.
             Really as a student, I feel this is one of the most important qualities for anyone to be successful at every front. This simple word contains a lot of meanings for me. I want to be the one who is regular with his each and every work in his daily life, the one who is able to constantly focus on his goal avoiding the whole chaos that surrounds him, the one who only cares about his part (i.e. work) irrespective of the result part and the one who is always optimistic and positive with his ideas and views. And I found that if one could develop the quality of perseverance that one could be like the one I want to be.

             I know that I am optimistic, I know that my mind is filled with positive thoughts still i don't find myself in the position to say that I have been able to fully develop this amazing quality of perseverance because for continuing in something that i am doing i need positive results right from the starting. I find myself caring about the result more than my own work and it is the point where I think that I deviate from the desired path. Also I find it hard to be able to keep myself away from the chaos surrounding me. Sometimes I blame my situation or my surrounding for me not being at the point where I dream of being. But somewhere deep in my heart I fully and completely agree that I am the only one responsible for what the position I hold.
            This analytical human brain becomes a source of deep trouble for us when it starts comparing the results by itself without our commands and the same happened with me. My mistake started from the point where I started taking care about the result more than my work and this problem took a giant negative frame when i started comparing. And this whole series of events converted my feeling of envy to some extent into the feeling of jealousy for those whom i consider better than me in anyone or more ways. Although I am not a jealous kind of person but I compete and that is a natural human behaviour which i don't consider wrong. The wrong thing is that sometimes I leave competing with self and start competing with others. I have to be better than what I am now and hence my competition ought to be with none other than me.
            And the worst part is that I have not been able to check myself when my mind was slowly leaning towards the negativity. When I envied someone then that one played the roll of a positive source of inspiration for my betterment but when the next situation arrived then these positive sources acted as creators of anger and a negative field around me and now i just wanted to get rid of their surroundings.
           But after hours long thinking and partiality less analysis I came to understand that here the anger is not for them it is for me and in reality it is not they who are creating any negativity but it is the reflection of my own thoughts. Yes all the things and all kinds of fields that surround me are the reflection of my own mental dynamics. That is the reason I find a thing amusing and annoying both at different times, same people who inspire me sometimes raise my anger and negativity. Hence the responsible one is me they just act as a mirror to show me my own face.

                  This is something really surprising for me but this surprise brings a ray of hope with itself. After being aware of the fact that it is none other than me who is running my world I can hope for its betterment and improvement on the basis of my own effort. Now this conclusion makes me feel like I am the king who could make any changes that he wants. And here comes the solution to every problem that I mentioned above. If I am the one who is going to decide my own fate then I am going to make it the best that I can.
I will fight, I will struggle and I will do whatsoever is required but in each and every situation I am going to persevere. If not today then let be the tomorrow but success is surely going to fall on my feet, I just have to leave its worry and work.